Once again, it's that time of the year! Suddenly, which means the day after Fathers’ Day in September, the shops fill up with Christmas decorations, chocolates and all sorts of other things ‘Christmassy’ on which people like to waste money. Whilst it’s always a little bit of shock to see Christmas things in the store so early, it doesn't take long for Christmas to actually creep up on us and we find ourselves wishing a Merry Christmas to just about any random person on the street, which can be both a good and bad thing, depending on how genuine you are about it.
I must admit I have mixed feelings about this time of year, as it should be a time of great joy and happiness. On the surface, it’s wonderful to wish people good tidings, treat people with a greater level of respect and say hello to people you ordinarily wouldn’t. However, ask yourself, are you being genuine with what you’re saying and doing, or are you just caught up in a cycle of pointless shallow greetings, parties and a manic argument ridden time with families that all ends on New Year’s Day when everyone breaks all those resolutions that they literally did nothing to achieve?
Many people just use this time of the year as an excuse to have parties and get drunk, something which is not really in the spirit of Christmas either. As work winds down, you're suddenly invited to lots of parties and events with people with whom you either don't spend much time, or more to the point, people with whom you don't want to spend time. When you're faced with this sort of situation, it's worth considering whether or not to go. Are you going because that's what is expected of you? Or are you going because you genuinely want to? If you're going because you're expected to, you’re really wasting your time and should really reconsider going. Instead, spend it with someone you actually care about. Often people can get caught up in the seemingly endless opportunities for Christmas gatherings, however, at the same time they fail to spend quality time with those who really matter.
On the positive side of things however, it signifies the end of what we would hope was a good year and a time to catch up with friends and family we haven’t seen in a long time, most likely last Christmas. I’ve caught myself doing the ‘Christmas’ catch up countless times and social media is such a great enabler for something so shallow. It really hit home last year, when I was going through my list of friends and by Facebook standards I don’t have that many, probably around 250 at a guess. (You can see how much I care about this number.) I do know most of my friends in ‘real life’, however, when I clicked on messenger to wish some friends a Merry Christmas, I saw my message from last Christmas glaring at me with distain. ‘Oh... Why has a year gone by and I haven’t even as much as said ‘Hey,’ let alone kept in touch in any meaningful way? One of the problems is that social media enables us to connect and disconnect with people in such a shallow way. We’re friends now, but we don’t need to talk anymore. However, I’m not here to social media bash. Well, not today!
Seeing a message that hadn’t been followed up on for a year started me thinking. Why wasn’t I staying in touch and should I be reconnecting? In some ways, it’s easy to say, no, the friendship isn’t that great and obviously everyone’s moved on, but I would suggest another answer. If I messaged everyone of my Facebook friends I would actually be being disingenuous as quite a few of them I don’t know at all, but that’s another matter and I don’t care much, because I’m never on there and I think Facebook is a toxic waste dump increasingly reliant on battering its users with a relentless number of pointless ads, rather than a platform that is helping humanity in a meaningful way. However, I digress.
Sending a Christmas message isn’t just a pointless waste of time. Even if you haven’t been close with one of your friends for some time, it’s a good excuse to reach out and say hello again. Our lives have become so manic, that often we don’t take the time just to say hello and focus on what’s really important in life and just as a hint, it’s not emptying your inbox.
This year, instead of just an online message that says something like, “Hi [insert name here], How have you been? Hope you have a wonderful Christmas! Best wishes for the new year!” write an actual Christmas card to each of those old friends with whom you want to reconnect. To this card however, add in an action plan, with an invite for coffee or dinner and be specific about it too, as vague plans of ‘sometime’ usually result in never! Think about it. What would you rather do? Would you rather go to a series of pointless Christmas functions with people you really don’t care about and watch them get drunk and embarrass themselves, or would you rather say no to all of that and use this precious and important time of the year to reconnect with someone in a meaningful way you should have taken the time to message a long time ago?